Fat Twin

For the past year, or maybe two, I've been searching for my fat twin. Someone who is about the same body type as me. I'm sure one such twin exists, but finding her is difficult. So now, I'm looking for people to be on the lookout. I have taken pictures of the women who may be my fat twin, but Witt assures me that they in fact are not my fat twin.

Jenflinn, who has never been fat, told me to just take a picture of myself. What a fool. I've seen pictures of me, and I'm always distracted by my fat face or my frizzy hair. Plus, people I know don't take full body pictures of me if they value their lives.

So, if you--readers of this blog (few you are) find my fat twin, please take her picture so we can immediately post it here to the blog. I will leave this space safe until we find her.

Snow Day, Oh Snow Day

When I was in school, it never occured to me that teachers wanted snow days. Yet, now that I'm a teacher, I can taste a snow day better than any kid in my class. Maybe it's because I have so many things to do. Maybe it's because I'm so excited about Christmas. Maybe it's because I just crave time off to practice being a stay at home dog mom. Whatever the case, I want a snow day. Real bad.

Pie Virgin

After school today we piled in Laura's car and headed to Gateway, the only restaraunt to eat at in Spokane. Gateway is a small folksy place complete with pretty bad wallpaper and deer and antler heads. It offers all you can eat fried chicken on Wednesday evening for the church crowd, it's closed on Mondays, and (perhaps best of all) they serve pie.

What's your pleasure? Pumpkin? Pecean? Lemon? Chocolate? They're all there, plus rasin and apple. Flaky crust, browned meringue, and cool centers that they can microwave if you want it hot. I don't even know if they have ice cream because I've never seen anyone take longer than two or three minutes to eat a piece.

Joni announced to no one in particular that she had never had the pie there. "What?!" Laura and I breathed. "I don't think I've ever had their pie." Really? Well, it was decided right then and there. Joni could no longer be a pie virgin.

The BIG Review of New Moon

And so the saga continues. Will Bella and Edward ever make out for longer than a few seconds? Will Charlie ever realize that Jacob and Edward are in fact not humans? Why is Bella so attractive to both werewolves and vampires? Why doesn't she want to be a werewolf instead of a vampire?

My students lament that of all of the books, New Moon was the worst. I suppose it's because Edward and Bella are apart for so much of the story. By the third chapter I was tired of Bella's whining, but when I flipped through the pages that were marked October, November, December, etc. I thought I would have to close the book. I can only take so much angst, but then realized (again) what a master Stephanie Meyer really is. While her writing isn't reaching new levels, she has quite a handle on the psyche of a fourteen-year-old girl. It makes sense that Bella would feel nothingness for so long after Edward abandoned her, and I stopped feeling irritated about it, eventually.

I thought for sure when Bella did the destructive things that Edward knew she was doing them, yet at the end when she tells him, he seems surprised. Are we supposed to conclude then that Bella is crazy? That his love was so strong she kept his voice and his thoughts with her?

I can't wait to crack open Eclipse and read it tonight curled in bed awaiting my dreams of Edward and the woods.

Being that "That Teacher"

I just called a student out of class and yelled at her in the hallway. For the first time this year I just yelled at a student. At first it was class as ususal. Then, she started talking about New Moon and I said, don't ruin anything for me, I'm still reading it. Well, a student looked at her and ruined a part of the story, and she started to whine. Not quietly, but fairly loudly. And so I asked her to stop, and hoped we could all go back to reading the play. Romeo and Juliet is taking a lot out of me this year, and I just want it to be finished.

Well, she didn't stop whining, and then she closed her book. I asked her what she was doing, she said "I'm finished with my part." I explained rather loudly that just becuse she was finished with her part didn't mean she didn't have to follow along with everyone else. Then, she opened up her book and began folding the pages in half like loops (not actually creasing them, but putting the edges of the page in the margins) I gave her the eye and said her name. I thought she got it. She undid the pages. Yet, I looked up and she had started doing it again. I told her to stay after class.

We finished reading early, and I asked her into the hallway where I basically unleashed. I said that I didn't want her talking anymore. She was taking the class for the second time and she should do the work. Did that make sense? I want you to go in, sit down and do your assignment and hand it in by the end of the hour. She said "I probably won't do it because I can't pass." I told her I didn't care if she could pass or not. Just because she was failing didn't give her a free pass to not do the work.

Not too long ago, Laura said that teachers are perhaps the only workers who have to beg to do their jobs. People who work public service have some difficult times, but it really isn't the same as begging students to be quiet so we can do our job. Yes, price checker, a customer may be rude to you, but he doesn't take away the clothes or food as you are attempting to scan it. On days like this I feel like I work against everything. The natural order would have been to sit and let everyone talk. Maybe I should start being that teacher.