The More You Eat, The Less It Will Look Like a Fish, BIG

Last night, after a long Monday teaching and getting mid quarter grades ready, I find myself willing to go to Thai House for dinner. Maybe it was because I had stolen Witt's car keys. Maybe it was because I misplaced his wallet, and I felt guilty. Maybe it was because I felt bad that we hadn't been there for about two weeks, and it's his favorite restaraunt. The reason, insignificant.

After months of trying Pad Thai (too sweet and sticky--why isn't this a dessert?) and Two Best Friends (I don't care how close shrimp and chicken are, they should have a thicker sauce to liven them up), I look at the specials board to see fried Tilapia with garlic sauce. A sucker for Tilapia and garlic, I choose this dish--embarking on a safe adventure--fish meets garlic, fish and garlic meet mouth, then stomach. Life can't get better.

The waitress held the platter away from her body as she manuvered through the tables and chairs to get to our table, and when I saw her look down at the plate, she grimaced, ever-so-slightly. She set the plate before me, and I said thank you. Maybe it was my imagination, but she barely looked at me, then spun on her heel and went back to the kitchen.

Witt and I saw the fish together. Then we looked back at the board and saw the word "whole" next to the Tilapia, as though it had just been written there. Whole. Two beady fish eyes covered with crispy breading and chunky garlic sauce don't stop the creepy feeling that the fish is staring at you with all of the intensity of Bambi. Tears didn't come to my eyes, but I almost wanted them to so Witt would say, you don't have eat it, just order something else. Instead, a small shrug, Witt says "well, look at it this way: the more you eat, the less it will look like a fish."

I made two discoveries. Number one: if a steak had the face of a cow or bacon had the face of a pig, I wouldn't eat them. Number two: even though the fish face was difficult to get past, I love the garlic sauce at Thai House. I bet it tastes great on chicken.