Isn't that all of life? Yesterday on Facebook, I saw Camille was on, and I tried to strike up a conversation with her. Last year was so hard on her. She lost her father not too long ago to brain cancer, she was living in Kentucky, but she want to move back to Colorado badly. I had lost touch with her when my mom died, and I finally left home and grew up. I remember when my mom was gone, I had called Camille, and I expected her to come to mom's funeral, or send me a card. That expectation was unfulfilled. She pretty much ignored me.
I remember talking with her mom and her mom saying, "Camille really needs you, she's just not paying attention right now. You need to stick with her." At the time I wasn't strong enough to stick to anything. I was struggling to figure out what to do with my whole life. I couldn't support my friends who lived near me, much less friends who lived in Kentucky.
The whole time Camille's been married--even before that, she's been wanting a baby--many babies. And she can't conceive. In February or March of last year, she finally got pregnant, but she went into labor and lost the baby in June. I know her heart broke. I can't imagine.
So, yesterday, I saw her on Facebook, and I tried to initiate a conversation with her and asked her how she was. She seemed so sad. And, I know she has good reason to be, but I can't imagine her life right now. I wonder if she laughs and smiles. I wonder if she has fun and has friends.
I hate to think of someone I was so close to, being so depressed.
I hope this year is a hopeful one for her. I hope we can reconnect and be closer, but I'm not sure it will happen. I wonder if happiness is something that we have to practice. Do we have to be in the right mindset to be happy? Is joy something that must happen spontaneously, or can we search for it? Does laughter have something to do with the faith that we have in our core that convinces us that life is wonderfull?
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